Consultation · Sydney & online
When faith and family concern become tangled.
Respect what matters, while taking concerns seriously.
Consultation for families concerned about religious or spiritual control. Consider communication, belief differences, practical support and what you can and cannot do in your role.
Disagreement about faith is not, by itself, evidence of harm.
Separate the belief difference from the concern.
You may be worried about pressure from a religious teacher, threatened exclusion, demands on money or time, or a relationship that leaves little room for questions. You may also disagree with a person’s faith without knowing whether their participation is freely chosen.
We can distinguish those questions. Religious commitment, cultural tradition and spiritual practice should not be treated as symptoms or taken as proof of coercion.
What does the relationship or community mean to them?
Faith may be connected with family history, meaning, care and valued relationships. A request to reject it can carry much more than an intellectual disagreement.
We consider ways to discuss particular behaviours and their effects without making abandoning a belief the price of your acceptance. Your own convictions and limits also deserve room.
What consultation can help you consider.
Name the specific concern
Look at what happens around refusal, contact, money, healthcare or independent advice rather than judging a whole tradition.
Protect room for conversation
Consider how to listen, ask and disagree without becoming another authority the person must satisfy.
Offer practical options
Think about support outside a particular leader or group, including support that respects the person’s faith where that matters to them.
Not a verdict on religion or an intervention to make someone leave.
We do not decide which teachings are true, negotiate with a leader on your behalf or assess an absent person’s beliefs. Consultation does not promise that relationships will be repaired or that someone will leave.
If religion or beliefs are being used in domestic or family violence, specialist support may be needed. 1800RESPECT describes spiritual abuse, including interference with a person’s chosen faith as well as pressure to follow another.
Common questions.
Do they need to stop practising their religion?
No. TEC does not make leaving a religion the aim or condition of support. We focus on the specific concern and the person’s room to choose.
What if I have left the same community?
Your experience may help you understand some aspects, but it does not establish what is happening for the other person. We consider both the shared history and the differences.
Can you help with shunning or family estrangement?
We can discuss the effect on you, communication and realistic support. We cannot guarantee contact, reconciliation or changes in another person’s decisions.
Further information.
- 1800RESPECT — spiritual abuse
Examples of belief-related control, including interference with a person’s own faith or practices.
- ICSA — resources for survivors and families
Information about high-control-group experiences and support. It does not establish the facts of a particular case.
Service information from The Exit Clinic. These pages are not an assessment of you, another person or a group. External resources offer other perspectives; they do not establish the facts of your situation.
The Exit Clinic
Founded by JT Kua, Counsellor, and Isabel Pham, Social Worker.