Counselling · Sydney & online
Coercive control counselling.
When everyday choices come with consequences.
Support for making sense of restrictions, pressure and fear in a relationship — and what is realistically possible in your circumstances.
You can seek support while still involved. A decision to leave is not a condition of care.
Look at the pattern, not just one argument.
1800RESPECT describes coercive control as an ongoing pattern of behaviour that dominates, controls and isolates. It can include monitoring, threats, restrictions on money or contact, and rules backed by consequences.
In counselling, we can explore what happens across time. Who can make decisions? What happens when you disagree? Can you speak privately, use money, get healthcare or maintain relationships without facing punishment or intimidation?
We do not assume every conflict or difference in power is coercive control. We take your experience seriously while looking carefully at the pattern, the effects and the circumstances. This is support information, not a legal assessment of any particular situation.
Practical safety comes before proving a point.
You do not need to confront someone, test a boundary or announce plans in order to demonstrate that a problem is real. What is safe to do depends on your circumstances and the support available.
Where domestic or family violence is involved, counselling may sit alongside specialist safety planning, legal advice, housing support or other services. It does not replace them. We do not provide emergency response, legal advice or crisis accommodation.
If you think a device or account is monitored, consider seeking support through a safer device or account where possible. The eSafety online safety checklist is intended to be worked through with specialist support. Changing settings or collecting evidence is not automatically safe.
What counselling can help you explore.
Making sense of what is happening
Identify repeated restrictions and the costs attached to saying no. Separate your own preferences from what feels necessary to prevent a reaction.
Working through the effects
Make space for fear, self-doubt, exhaustion, grief or relationship strain without treating your responses as the whole explanation for the situation.
Developing options you can actually use
Consider trusted contact, practical resources and specialist help. Work towards choices that take account of safety, children or other dependants, income and housing.
Support while involved, separating or rebuilding.
You may be unsure about the relationship, preparing for change, or managing ongoing contact after separation. We can begin with the problem that matters most now rather than requiring a settled account of everything that happened.
Having an option on paper is not the same as being able to use it. We will not treat practical dependence, care responsibilities or valued relationships as a lack of determination. The work is to understand those conditions and consider what could make safer, more workable choices possible.
For a loved one seeking advice, our family consultation page explains a different kind of support. It does not involve assessing an absent person or persuading them to leave.
Common questions.
Do I need evidence or a police report before enquiring?
No. A brief account of what concerns you is enough for an initial enquiry. Do not put yourself at risk to collect evidence for counselling, and do not send detailed records through the enquiry form.
What if there has been no physical violence?
You can still seek support. We can examine restrictions, fear, monitoring and the consequences of disagreement without requiring physical violence as a starting point.
Will you tell me whether to stay or leave?
We will not make that decision for you. We help you consider your priorities, risks and options, including specialist support where needed.
Can you help with urgent danger?
TEC is not an emergency or crisis service. In immediate danger in Australia, call 000. For domestic, family or sexual violence support, contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732. Do not wait for a response to our enquiry form.
Further information.
- 1800RESPECT — coercive control
An explanation of patterns, behaviours and effects.
- eSafety Commissioner — online safety checklist
Technology-safety guidance to consider with specialist support.
Service information from The Exit Clinic. These pages are not an assessment of you, another person or a group. External resources offer other perspectives; they do not establish the facts of your situation.
The Exit Clinic
Founded by JT Kua, Counsellor, and Isabel Pham, Social Worker.