Counselling · Sydney & online
Counselling after narcissistic abuse.
Start with what happened to you, not a diagnosis of someone else.
Support when a relationship has left you questioning your perceptions, needs or right to make choices — including experiences you understand as narcissistic abuse.
You do not need to prove that someone is a narcissist for harmful treatment to matter.
A familiar term. A careful starting point.
You may have arrived here through the words “narcissistic abuse”. We use that language as an entry point to your experience, not as a diagnosis of you or another person.
Healthdirect distinguishes narcissistic traits from narcissistic personality disorder, which requires clinical assessment. A description of difficult behaviour is not enough to establish that diagnosis.
We do not need a personality label to examine harmful treatment. Nor do we treat a diagnosis, self-confidence, conflict or a period of selfish behaviour as proof that a person is abusive. The useful questions concern what happened repeatedly, how it affected you and what happened when you tried to address it.
Understanding the relationship around you.
We can explore experiences such as recurring humiliation, your account being repeatedly dismissed, limits leading to retaliation, or affection and support becoming conditional on doing what someone wants. These are situations to understand in context, not a checklist for identifying a personality disorder.
We look at who could set the terms, which concerns were heard, whether apologies led to change, and whether outside relationships or independent decisions carried a cost. We also consider misunderstandings, other pressures and evidence that does not fit the first explanation.
You might recognise some of this in a partner, family relationship, workplace, coaching or therapy relationship. The support we agree depends on your situation and needs, rather than fitting every experience to one category.
What we can work on together.
Recovering room for your own perspective
Notice your perceptions, needs and values without needing someone else to approve every conclusion. Make space for uncertainty without automatically dismissing yourself.
Working through the effects
Address self-doubt, fear, grief, anger or exhaustion alongside your relationships and practical circumstances. The aim is not to make you better at tolerating harmful treatment.
Considering boundaries and options
Explore what contact, support, distance or change could look like, taking safety and dependence seriously. We do not prescribe confrontation or a universal no-contact rule.
The right support may extend beyond counselling.
If there are threats, monitoring, restrictions on money or other patterns of control, our coercive control page may be more directly relevant. Specialist domestic and family violence support may also be needed.
You do not need to collect proof, challenge the other person or make a decision about leaving before enquiring. Practical dependence and care responsibilities are part of the situation to understand, not evidence that you are failing to change it.
Counselling cannot assess an absent person, guarantee that another person will change, or replace legal advice and specialist safety planning. We will be clear about what our service can and cannot offer.
Common questions.
What if the other person has never been diagnosed?
A diagnosis is not required. We can focus on the behaviour you describe, its effects and your needs without assigning a personality disorder to anyone.
Will you confirm whether my partner or parent is a narcissist?
No. We cannot establish a diagnosis of an absent person from someone else’s account. We can help you make sense of experiences and recognise where important questions remain open.
Do I have to cut off contact?
No. There is no automatic no-contact recommendation. Decisions about contact need to take account of safety, your priorities, practical responsibilities and what alternatives are available.
Can I seek help without using the word abuse?
Yes. You can begin with uncertainty, distress or a relationship problem. We do not require you to accept a particular label to work together.
Further information.
- Healthdirect — narcissistic personality disorder
Distinguishes traits and clinical diagnosis; not a test for identifying abuse.
- 1800RESPECT — psychological abuse
Further information about harmful patterns in relationships.
Service information from The Exit Clinic. These pages are not an assessment of you, another person or a group. External resources offer other perspectives; they do not establish the facts of your situation.
The Exit Clinic
Founded by JT Kua, Counsellor, and Isabel Pham, Social Worker.